The Myth of Being Lesser Than

Frequently, as I walk around the Kopila campus, I am stopped by students who say, “Oh Dr. Barry you look so handsome,” or “You look so beautiful,” or “Your hands are so big,” or “You are so white and your eyes are so blue,” . . .  Of course I welcome these compliments -It’s human nature, and I am humbled. My dad always said that flattery will get you everywhere, and it just feels plain good to hear these tributes! So, I like the next guy or gal, really appreciate receiving these uninvited accolades.

Dr Barry facilitating a outdoor Classroom activity on Simple Machines.

Yet, a bit of me dies when I hear these because what I hear, hidden in these praises, are the thoughts that you Dr. Barry – as a Western/American - have all of these god-given attributes that I as a Nepali child don’t. I cry inside because what I hear expressed through the beautiful voices of our Kopila Valley students, our Nepali children is, “I am lesser than.”

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first came to Nepal. I think I expected to find children who came from such horrific challenges in life that they found it overwhelmingly difficult to find their way in this world. Instead, what I’ve found are Kopila Valley students who are supported, nurtured, loved, cared for, valued, and endowed with optimism. I found energetic, opinionated, dynamic, earnest, boastful, and of course obstinate (in the best way), beautiful Nepalese youth.

When I look into their eyes, I see beauty. I see proud young men and women who are growing all of the gifts and talents that they need to be successful on a global scale. I see the same hopes, desires, and aspirations in my Nepali students, that I used to see in my American students. All are striving to be doctors, nurses, engineers, lawyers, artists, non-profit organizers, and anything that their passion and hard work will get them. I, Dr. Barry, do not see lesser than.

When I wonder about why Nepali students tell themselves a story of lesser than, I imagine it’s because of the country and conditions in which they live. Here, in Surkhet, Nepal, it’s not easy. Challenges exist within their family units, and with the roads, clean water, sanitary conditions, public schools, hospitals, infrastructure, distribution channels, and commerce. In short, Nepal is a developing country. So, I imagine students tell themselves a story of lesser than, not because of their god-given inherent talents, but because of the inequality of opportunities they experience on a daily basis in such a challenging, developing country. So, I will concede that given their world view, there are far more opportunities for students in developing countries to be given support the in reaching success, than there are for students in the developing country of Nepal.

While I believe everyone finds a purpose in life, my purpose shifts as frequently as the stages of my own life. Today I would state that my purpose in life is to help students find their gifts and talents in ways that they lead them to purposeful self-fulfilling, successful, and productive lives. It is from this mentorship role that I (Granpa/Baje Barry) advise students in Kopila , “You also have god given talents to change things.” “You have inside you all the potential you need to create a better world.” “So, as you grow, continue to be the change that you want to see.”

“Go create a Nepal that provides better opportunities.” “You can run for public office,” “you can become an elected official,” “you can become part of the government that is needed to change things for the better, to change the country and create the foundations needed for all Nepalese to become the best versions of themselves.” “You can do all of this!” “You can be in charge of creating better opportunities for all Nepalese.” “You can create systems, processes, and institutions today that will create positive generational change.” “You are worthy of doing these things.”

So, to the students who greet me every day with compliments, praise, and accolades, to the beautiful students of the Kopila Valley School who I adore (j’adore), I advise; never believe the myth that you are lesser than. Instead, grow to be the change that you want to see, and in so doing, you will fill yourself up to be equal to, and more than.

Dr. Barry Haines

Curriculum & Instruction, and Professional Development