The Myth of Being Lesser Than

Frequently, as I walk around the Kopila campus, I am stopped by students who say, “Oh Dr. Barry you look so handsome,” or “You look so beautiful,” or “Your hands are so big,” or “You are so white and your eyes are so blue,” . . .  Of course I love these compliments, it’s human nature too feel good when someone else notices something about you, and I am humbled. My dad always said that “Flattery will get you everywhere,” and it just feels plain good to hear these tributes. So, I like the next person, really appreciate receiving these unasked-for accolades.

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/f1b88e_26445d771eae4817b71edd8be4727206/1080p/mp4/file.mp4

Dr Barry facilitating a outdoor Classroom activity on Simple Machines.

And yet, a bit of me dies when I hear these. Because hidden in this praise, I hear something painful. I hear the thoughts that you Dr. Barry – as a Western/American - have all of these God-given attributes that I as a Nepali child don’t. I cry inside because what I hear expressed through the beautiful voices of our Kopila Valley students is: “I am lesser than.”

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first came to Nepal. I imagined finding children who came from such horrific challenges in life that they found it overwhelmingly difficult to simply survive daily struggles. Instead, I found Kopila Valley students who are supported, nurtured, loved, cared for, and valued. I found optimistic, energetic, opinionated, dynamic, boastful, fierce, and of course obstinate (in the best way), beautiful Nepalese youth.

When I look into the eyes of our students I see beauty. I see proud young men and women, who are growing all of the gifts and talents that they need to be successful on a global scale. I find the same hopes, desires, and aspirations in my Nepali students, that I used to find in my American students. All are striving to be doctors, nurses, engineers, lawyers, artists, nonprofit organizers- anything that their passion and hard work will carry them toward.

I, Dr. Barry, do not see “lesser than.”

When I wonder about why my students tell themselves this myth of lesser than, I believe it’s because of the country and conditions in which they live. Here, in Surkhet, Nepal, it’s not easy. Daily challenges exist with dirt roads, clean water, sanitary issues, under-resourced public schools and hospitals, a fragile infrastructure, and inconsistent distribution channels, and commerce. In short, Nepal is a developing country.

I imagine my students tell themselves the myth of lesser than, not because of a lack of their own talents, but because of the lack of opportunities they experience on a daily basis.

I concede that students in more developed countries have greater opportunities and greater systems of support – academically, economically, and socially, than those growing up in places like Nepal. This is a truth. It is not a reflection of their lack of ability, character, creativity or worth.

While I believe everyone finds a purpose in life, mine has shifted as to the seasons of my life. Today I would state that my purpose is to help students discover their gifts and talents in ways that they lead them to purposeful self-fulfilling, successful, and productive lives. It is from this mentorship role, as your grandpa/Baje Barry, that I advise you - my Kopila children, “You also have God-given talents.” You have inside you all the potential you need to create a better world.” “As you grow, continue to be the change you want to see.”

“Go build a Nepal filled with greater opportunity.

Run for office.

Become the elected official that this country needs.

Shape a government that serves its people.

Create the foundations upon which all Nepali people can build the best version of themselves.

You can do this

You are worthy of doing this.

You can create systems, structures, and institutions today that will bring about positive, generational change for tomorrow.”

So, to my students who greet me every day with compliments, praise, and affection

to my beautiful Kopila Valley students whom I adore (j’adore), hear me:

Never believe the myth that you are lesser than.

Instead, grow into the change that you wish to see in your country.

In so doing, you will fill yourself up to be equal to, and more than.

Dr. Barry Haines

Director, Curriculum & Instruction, and Professional Development